I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
