I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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