I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
