I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
