I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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