Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Randomize