Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
