put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
