FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
