And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
