In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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