The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I bet he comes in French.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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