She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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