I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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