he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
