Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
