Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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