Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
