Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize