Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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