We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
