Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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