I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
