i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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