help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
