your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
