Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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