y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
