just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
