she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
