And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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