just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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