I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just want to make out with him forever
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
