watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish i was in the wii world.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
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Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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