so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
