Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
