shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Enjoy the penises
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
