no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm like, not good at living.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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