so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
