ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
