Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
