The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
