Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
