I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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