Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Actions speak louder than pants.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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