I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
