just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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