I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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