i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
