So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Every concussion has its silver lining
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
