she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize