plz talk dirty to me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
