sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
