i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
