Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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