you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
