i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
