batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
