I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Terrible idea I love it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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