I got chris browned last night
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
