Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
