I love black thongs
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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